In the middle of a workshop lately a pertinent question was asked about what creates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the last week that in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Marriage That Is Falling Apart
A number of men in the group thought of the automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects like their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these men, these items felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with these people or items was rewarding and easy to keep.
A number of girls considered kitchen appliances, favorite clothes or shoes, old friends, acquaintances, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond that they had generated either between individuals or with things they utilized in their own lives. Words like reassuring, dependable, and reliable were used.
When my turn came to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has quite simple needs, requiring shelter, just meals, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it’s very humbling once you think about it. How To Save A Marriage That Is Falling Apart
I don’t know of any others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from the house or no matter how my day has been. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage That Is Falling Apart
Therefore What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage That Is Falling Apart
Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without conditions. It’s the kind of love that you have for your partner when the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You realize chances are your spouse has flaws. You understand your partner isn’t perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine, although you understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner because of those imperfections rather than despite of those.
This is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage That Is Falling Apart
The identical thing applies for you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You admit that you’re the same. You have flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that is okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections that people have.
What exactly do you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let’s difficulties become larger than they actually are and rule our own lives.
If you are seriously interested in saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to possess flaws and make mistakes. It is fine to have thoughts and feelings. But above all of this is the love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer them all.
It’s possible to not like your spouse or perhaps not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage can stay constant.
It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage That Is Falling Apart
Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage That Is Falling Apart
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