In the middle of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked about what creates the ideal relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with something in the previous week which in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and also to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Marriage Separation
A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To every one of these men, these things felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such individuals or objects was rewarding and easy to keep.
A number of women believed kitchen appliances, favorite clothes or shoes, old friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their own lives, and the bond which they had generated either between individuals or with things they used in their lives. Words such as reliable, dependable, and reassuring were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my perfect connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has simple needs, requiring only food, shelter, and love. No matter how my day has been or what kind of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, also it’s very humbling once you consider it. How To Save A Marriage Separation
I don’t know of any others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from no matter how my day has been or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage Separation
So What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage Separation
Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without requirements. It is the kind of love that you have for the partner once the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know by now your spouse has faults. You understand your partner isn’t perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes but that is okay, although you understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your partner because of the imperfections rather than despite of those.
That is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage Separation
The identical thing applies to you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you are exactly the same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that is fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections which people have.
So what do you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let’s difficulties become larger than they actually are and rule our lives.
If you are seriously interested in saving your marriage that the secret is in finding ways to place the emotional clutter to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to possess flaws and make errors. It is okay to have thoughts and feelings. But over all of this is your love you have for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not enjoy your spouse or maybe not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage might stay constant.
It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage Separation
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