Certainly one of the most frequent questions spouses ask when confronting a marriage crisis is this: How To Save A Marriage Reddit 

How can I save my marriage if my partner does not wish to help look for an answer…?

How do I succeed I’m trying to save my marriage by myself…?

It is a standard enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains “in love”, the other is unclear. Whatever it is that’s caused a couple to become apart, the one person who remains bears the possibility, fear, doubt, desire, hope of saving her or his marriage’ ALONE.

Considering that there are just two different people contributing to the general well being and health of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to actually decide to try and rescue it? Or, worse, if it’s his, or her, their fault so shouldn’t he, she, they’re the ones to make amends? You’re just the victim here, afterall!

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The Best Way To Save Your Relationship All on Your Own How To Save A Marriage Reddit

The first thing you need to understand is, if you find yourself alone in this desire and if you want to save your marriage, waiting for the other spouse to make the initial move would be the start of the end.

If you’re seeking a person to blame or someone else to set the physical and emotional work into saving the marriage, again, it’s going to fail. How To Save A Marriage Reddit

The belief that the responsibility lies with the other person is a self-defeating mindset. It propagates the impression that there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you ought to stand and see what comes your way.

NOT correct!

There is still something that you CAN DO. Even in solitude and your loneliness, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let’s begin first by examining what it means to be on your own.

As human beings, we hate being alone. It is part of our genetic make up to become social creatures and develop connections with others, whether friendships or romantic interest. The way we connect with others of the way we interact with individuals, and the character is a basic part of emotional and personal development. How To Save A Marriage Reddit

The paradox is that as we grow older in companionship, trust, the love and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us happy human beings. Ideally, the mature person should have developed a strong sense of confidence self-awareness and self-esteem as he or she reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we view the world, flaws and all. These make up part of our private shelter amidst challenges and difficulties. This is called SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, lots people enter into adult life without even being aware of this gorgeous, human truth. We may have experienced abandonment in our youth or been disappointed by our relationships.

whatever it is, it has caused to shift from appropriate adult development to fears of abandonment and the inability to see that we can stand on our own two feet.

Thus, lots of us enter marriages and relationships with plan the hope and dream that we would never be alone. We {invest so much in our partners and loved ones, focusing our entire beings on them and relying on them to make us protected and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own poison.

Subconsciously, we project the duty of our own life pleasure on the person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for our life happiness and destiny.

Problems develop when a spouse indicates some kind of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations unwittingly put upon them, and if they do so we panic. Our fears kick in, when our spouse leaves. If something goes wrong with our marriages, it is extremely easy for us to place the blame of another person for having made us unhappy.How To Save A Marriage Reddit

So as to save your marriage when you’re the one doing it, the key is a paradigm shift the key is to change your attitude and focus. Stop focusing on your spouse – stop the blaming, stop the inaction.

Take a good look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can NOT control your partner’s feelings, attitude and responses, but you can control your own. You can always go from fearing abandonment to taking responsibility for yourself and your happiness.

This is where the human truth about self-actualization comes in. Know, internalize and adapt this on your own. Learn it. It will spell the difference not only in your marriage but in YOU.

A whole human being is easy to love. A happy person brings joy. In beginning with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy, clingy, difficult person to one who can provide an environment of safety, wisdom, trust and open communication.

If each of you have the ability to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your own life happiness, you both have much baggage and much more real love to bring into the relationship. Your motivation changes from being one of fear to being one of real love.

Try these tips to start your own transformation and lead your marriage to success, rather than beat yourself up in Despair:How To Save A Marriage Reddit

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not just for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the issues in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your partner (and you) may just rediscover the person that they first fell in love with and more. For this is your kind that would allow your partner initiate communication and to come back. When that occurs, you have every opportunity to sit down with him or her, discuss your motivations, plans and feelings. You may even get to the issues surrounding your marital difficulties and actually start taking measures to work them through. How To Save A Marriage Reddit

In being open and older, you can provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once more. With all the confidence and sincerity you have gathered, take these steps. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or problems, find it to keep loving your partner and showing her or him that you do. How To Save A Marriage Reddit

Through little acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t have to be grand gestures, they just have to be sincere. And coming from the adult, new you.

You might be making mistakes which will jeopardize your marriage recovery!

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