In the middle of a workshop lately a important question was asked about what generates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the last week that in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and also to think of exactly what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Marriage On The Brink Of Divorce
A number of guys in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items like their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To every one of these men, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.
A number of women believed kitchen appliances, favored clothes or shoes, older friends, acquaintances, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond that they had generated either between people or with things they utilized in their lives. Words such as trustworthy, reliable, and reassuring were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has very simple needs, requiring shelter, meals, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, also it’s very humbling when you consider it. How To Save A Marriage On The Brink Of Divorce
I don’t know of some others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of the house or no matter how my day has been. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage On The Brink Of Divorce
So What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage On The Brink Of Divorce
Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without conditions. It is the kind of love that you have for the partner when the romantic, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know by now your partner has faults. You know your spouse isn’t perfect. You realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine, although you know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse because of the imperfections as opposed to despite of them.
That really is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage On The Brink Of Divorce
The same thing applies for you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you’re the same. You have flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections that people have.
What exactly do you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let’s problems become larger than they actually are and rule our own lives.
If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage the key is in finding methods to put the emotional clutter to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is okay to have faults and make errors. It’s okay to have feelings and thoughts. But over all this is the love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not enjoy your partner or maybe not like what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage might stay constant.
It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage On The Brink Of Divorce
Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage On The Brink Of Divorce
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