In the center of a workshop lately a pertinent question was asked about what creates the ideal relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the previous week that in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and also to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save A Marriage On The Brink
A number of guys in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these guys, these things felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these individuals or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.
A number of girls believed kitchen appliances, preferred shoes or clothes, older friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond which they had created either between individuals or with items they utilized in their own lives. Words such as reliable, dependable, and comforting were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has very simple demands, requiring shelter, only meals, and love. No matter how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it is quite humbling once you consider it. How To Save A Marriage On The Brink
I don’t know of some others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of the house or regardless of how my day was. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage On The Brink
Therefore What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage On The Brink
Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without requirements. It is the type of love that you have for your partner when the amorous, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand chances are your partner has faults. You understand your spouse isn’t perfect. You know your spouse makes mistakes but that’s okay, although you understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your spouse because of those imperfections instead of despite of them.
This is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage On The Brink
The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You admit that you are the same. You’ve got faults. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that is okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections that people have.
So what can you get from this then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let’s issues become larger than they actually are and rule our lives.
If you’re serious about saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to place the emotional clutter to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is okay to possess flaws and make mistakes. It’s okay to have feelings and thoughts. But above all this is the love you’ve got for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer them all.
It is possible to not like your spouse or maybe not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage can stay constant.
It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage On The Brink
Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage On The Brink
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