In the middle of a workshop lately a important question was asked about what creates the perfect relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save A Marriage Midlife Crisis

A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items like their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To every one of these guys, these things felt simple, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and simple to maintain.

A range of women considered kitchen appliances, preferred shoes or clothes, old friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond that they had generated either between people or with things they utilized in their own lives. Words such as trustworthy, reliable, and comforting were used.

When my turn arrived to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has simple demands, requiring just food, shelter, and love. No matter how my day has been or what sort of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it’s very humbling when you consider it. How To Save A Marriage Midlife Crisis

I have no idea of some others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of the house or regardless of how my day was. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage Midlife Crisis

 

Therefore What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage Midlife Crisis

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without requirements. It is the kind of love that you have for your partner when the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You understand by now your spouse has flaws. You know your spouse isn’t perfect. You know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine, although you understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner because of those imperfections instead of in spite of them.

That really is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage Midlife Crisis

The same thing applies for you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re the same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes sometimes, but that is fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to overcome the flaws and imperfections that people have.

What exactly do you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let our issues become larger than they really are and rule our own lives.

If you’re serious about saving your marriage that the key is in finding ways to put the emotional clutter to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to possess flaws and make mistakes. It is okay to have feelings and thoughts. But above all of this is your love you have for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer all of them.

It is possible to not like your spouse or maybe not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage might stay constant.

It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage Midlife Crisis

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage Midlife Crisis

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