In the middle of a workshop lately a pertinent question was asked concerning what creates the perfect relationship. We had been asked to develop a relationship we had with something in the previous week that in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Marriage From Falling Apart
A number of men in the group thought of the automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects like their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To each of these men, these things felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with such people or items was rewarding and easy to maintain.
A range of girls considered kitchen appliances, favourite shoes or clothes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond which they had created either between individuals or with items they utilized in their own lives. Words like comforting, dependable, and reliable were used.
When my turn came to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has very simple needs, requiring just food, shelter, and love. No matter how my day has been or what sort of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it’s quite humbling once you consider it. How To Save A Marriage From Falling Apart
I have no idea of some others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of regardless of how my day was or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage From Falling Apart
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage From Falling Apart
Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for the partner when the amorous, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You realize by now your spouse has faults. You know your spouse is not perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your partner because of those imperfections rather than in spite of them.
This is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage From Falling Apart
The identical thing applies to you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you’re exactly the same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the flaws and imperfections which people have.
What exactly can you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let’s problems become larger than they actually are and rule our own lives.
If you’re serious about saving your marriage the key is in finding methods to put the emotional clutter to a side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to possess flaws and make errors. It is okay to have thoughts and feelings. But over all of this is the love you have for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer them all.
It is possible to not enjoy your spouse or not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for your spouse and your marriage can stay constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage From Falling Apart
Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage From Falling Apart
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