In the middle of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked concerning what generates the perfect relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the last week which in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and also to think of what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Marriage During Depression
A number of men in the group thought of the automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items like their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To every one of these men, these items felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with such people or objects was rewarding and simple to keep.
A range of girls believed kitchen appliances, favourite shoes or clothes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond which they had generated either between individuals or with items they utilized in their lives. Words like trustworthy, reliable, and comforting were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my perfect connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has quite simple demands, requiring shelter, only meals, and love. No matter how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it is very humbling when you think about it. How To Save A Marriage During Depression
I have no idea of some others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from the house or regardless of how my day was. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage During Depression
Therefore What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage During Depression
Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without requirements. It is the type of love that you have for the partner when the romantic, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You realize by now your spouse has faults. You understand your partner isn’t perfect. You know your spouse makes mistakes but that’s okay, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your spouse due to the imperfections as opposed to despite of those.
That is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage During Depression
The same thing applies for you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You admit that you are the exact same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections which people have.
What exactly do you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all mess our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let’s issues become larger than they actually are and dominate our lives.
If you are serious about saving your marriage that the secret is in finding ways to place the psychological mess to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is okay to have faults and make mistakes. It’s fine to have thoughts and feelings. But above all this is your love you’ve got for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer all of them.
It is possible to not like your spouse or not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage might remain constant.
It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage During Depression
Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage During Depression
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