In the middle of a workshop recently a important question was asked about what generates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the last week which in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and also to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save A Marriage During A Separation
A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items like their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these guys, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with such people or items was rewarding and simple to keep.
A number of girls considered kitchen appliances, favored shoes or clothes, old friends, acquaintances, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond which they had created either between people or with things they utilized in their own lives. Words such as reliable, trustworthy, and comforting were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring food, shelter, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what sort of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, also it’s very humbling when you consider it. How To Save A Marriage During A Separation
I have no idea of any others that encircle me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from no matter how my day has been or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage During A Separation
So What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage During A Separation
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for the partner when the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand by now your partner has faults. You realize your spouse isn’t perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes but that is okay, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your partner due to the imperfections rather than in spite of them.
This really is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage During A Separation
The identical thing applies for you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You admit that you’re the same. You have flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections that people have.
What exactly can you get from this then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let our issues become bigger than they actually are and rule our own lives.
If you’re serious about saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to put the emotional clutter to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to have faults and make errors. It is fine to have feelings and thoughts. But over all this is the love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not like your spouse or not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage During A Separation
Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage During A Separation
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