In the center of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked about what creates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week which in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Marriage During A Midlife Crisis
A number of guys in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects like their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To every one of these guys, these things felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and simple to maintain.
A range of girls considered kitchen appliances, favorite shoes or clothes, old friends, acquaintances, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond that they had created either between individuals or with items they used in their lives. Words like reliable, reliable, and reassuring were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has rather simple demands, requiring food, shelter, and love. No matter how my day has been or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it’s quite humbling when you consider it. How To Save A Marriage During A Midlife Crisis
I don’t know of any others that encircle me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from the house or regardless of how my day has been. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage During A Midlife Crisis
Therefore What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage During A Midlife Crisis
Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without requirements. It is the type of love that you have for your partner once the amorous, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know by now your partner has flaws. You understand your partner isn’t perfect. You understand your partner makes mistakes but that is okay, although you understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your spouse because of those imperfections as opposed to despite of those.
That is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage During A Midlife Crisis
The same thing applies for you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you’re exactly the exact same. You have faults. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections that people have.
So what can you get from this then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let our problems become bigger than they actually are and rule our lives.
If you are seriously interested in saving your marriage that the secret is in finding ways to put the emotional clutter to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is okay to have faults and make errors. It is fine to have thoughts and feelings. But above all this is the love you have for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer them all.
It’s possible to not enjoy your partner or maybe not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage might stay constant.
It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage During A Midlife Crisis
Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage During A Midlife Crisis
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