In the center of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked about what creates the ideal relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the last week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save A Marriage Before Divorce
A number of guys in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To every one of these men, these items felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with such individuals or items was rewarding and easy to maintain.
A range of women believed kitchen appliances, favored clothes or shoes, older friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond that they had created either between individuals or with things they utilized in their own lives. Words such as comforting, trustworthy, and reliable were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has very simple needs, requiring shelter, food, and love. No matter how my day was or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it is very humbling when you think about it. How To Save A Marriage Before Divorce
I don’t know of any others that encircle me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from regardless of how my day has been or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage Before Divorce
Therefore What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage Before Divorce
Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without requirements. It is the type of love that you have for the partner once the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You realize by now your spouse has flaws. You know your partner is not perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes but that’s fine, although you realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner because of the imperfections instead of despite of those.
This is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage Before Divorce
The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You admit that you are the exact same. You’ve got faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to overcome the flaws and imperfections that people have.
So what do you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let’s issues become larger than they really are and rule our own lives.
If you are serious about saving your marriage that the key is in finding ways to place the psychological mess to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to possess flaws and make errors. It is fine to have feelings and thoughts. But over all this is your love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer them all.
It’s possible to not like your spouse or perhaps not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage might stay constant.
It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage Before Divorce
Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage Before Divorce
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