In the middle of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked about what creates the ideal relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the last week that in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Marriage And Ruin Your Life

A number of guys in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To each of these guys, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and simple to keep.

A range of women considered kitchen appliances, preferred clothes or shoes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond that they had generated either between people or with items they used in their lives. Words such as reliable, reliable, and reassuring were used.

When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has very simple needs, requiring shelter, meals, and love. No matter how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it is quite humbling when you think about it. How To Save A Marriage And Ruin Your Life

I have no idea of some others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of no matter how my day has been or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage And Ruin Your Life

 

So What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage And Ruin Your Life

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without conditions. It’s the kind of love that you have for the partner once the romantic, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You realize chances are your spouse has flaws. You realize your partner is not perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes but that’s fine, although you realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse because of the imperfections rather than in spite of them.

This really is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage And Ruin Your Life

The identical thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You admit that you’re the exact same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections that people have.

What exactly do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all mess our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our problems become larger than they actually are and dominate our own lives.

If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage that the key is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make mistakes. It is fine to have feelings and thoughts. But over all of this is the love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer all of them.

It is possible to not like your partner or maybe not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage might stay constant.

It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage And Ruin Your Life

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage And Ruin Your Life

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