In the center of a workshop recently a important question was asked about what creates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the last week that in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save A Marriage And Ruin
A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items like their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To every one of these guys, these things felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these individuals or items was rewarding and easy to keep.
A number of women considered kitchen appliances, preferred clothes or shoes, older friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond that they had created either between people or with things they used in their own lives. Words like comforting, dependable, and reliable were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has simple needs, requiring shelter, only meals, and love. No matter how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it’s very humbling once you consider it. How To Save A Marriage And Ruin
I don’t know of some others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of the house or regardless of how my day was. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage And Ruin
Therefore What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage And Ruin
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without requirements. It is the kind of love that you have for your partner once the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You realize chances are your partner has faults. You realize your partner isn’t perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes but that is okay, although you understand your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse because of the imperfections as opposed to despite of those.
That really is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage And Ruin
The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re the same. You have faults. You aren’t perfect. You know that you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections that people have.
So what do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our issues become larger than they really are and dominate our lives.
If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage the secret is in finding methods to put the emotional clutter to a side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make errors. It is fine to have feelings and thoughts. But over all of this is your love you’ve got for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer all of them.
It is possible to not enjoy your spouse or not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage And Ruin
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