In the center of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked concerning what creates the perfect relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the last week which in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Marriage After Separation
A number of men in the group thought of their automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items such as their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To every one of these men, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these individuals or objects was rewarding and simple to keep.
A number of girls believed kitchen appliances, preferred shoes or clothes, older friends, acquaintances, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond which they had created either between people or with items they used in their own lives. Words like reliable reliable, and comforting were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has simple needs, requiring shelter, just meals, and love. No matter how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it’s very humbling once you consider it. How To Save A Marriage After Separation
I have no idea of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from the house or no matter how my day was. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage After Separation
So What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage After Separation
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without conditions. It’s the type of love that you have for your partner once the romantic, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know chances are your spouse has flaws. You realize your partner isn’t perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay, although you realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse because of the imperfections rather than in spite of those.
That is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage After Separation
The identical thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You admit that you are the same. You’ve got faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that is okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections that people have.
So what can you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all mess our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let’s difficulties become bigger than they actually are and dominate our own lives.
If you are serious about saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to possess flaws and make mistakes. It’s okay to have feelings and thoughts. But above all of this is the love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not like your spouse or not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage After Separation
Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage After Separation
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