In the center of a workshop lately a pertinent question was asked concerning what generates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to develop a relationship we had with something in the previous week which in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and to think of exactly what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Marriage After Physical Abuse

A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items like their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To each of these men, these items felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such individuals or items was rewarding and easy to keep.

A number of girls considered kitchen appliances, preferred shoes or clothes, older friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their own lives, and the bond that they had generated either between individuals or with items they used in their own lives. Words like dependable, reliable, and reassuring were used.

When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has quite simple needs, requiring shelter, only food, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what sort of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it’s very humbling once you think about it. How To Save A Marriage After Physical Abuse

I have no idea of any others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from regardless of how my day has been or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage After Physical Abuse

 

So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage After Physical Abuse

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without requirements. It is the kind of love that you have for the partner when the romantic, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You realize chances are your spouse has faults. You understand your partner isn’t perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes but that is fine, although you understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse due to the imperfections as opposed to despite of those.

This is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage After Physical Abuse

The same thing applies for you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You admit that you’re the same. You have faults. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to overcome the flaws and imperfections which people have.

What exactly do you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let’s difficulties become larger than they actually are and dominate our own lives.

If you are serious about saving your marriage that the secret is in finding methods to put the psychological mess to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is fine to possess flaws and make errors. It is okay to have feelings and thoughts. But over all of this is the love you have for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer all of them.

It is possible to not enjoy your spouse or maybe not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage can stay constant.

It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage After Physical Abuse

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage After Physical Abuse

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