In the middle of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked about what creates the ideal relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the last week that in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and also to think of what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Marriage After Having A Baby

A number of men in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items such as their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To each of these men, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with such individuals or objects was rewarding and easy to keep.

A range of girls considered kitchen appliances, favored shoes or clothes, old friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their own lives, and the bond that they had generated either between individuals or with items they utilized in their lives. Words such as comforting, dependable, and reliable were used.

When my turn came to identify my perfect connection, I thought of my dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring shelter, only meals, and love. No matter how my day was or what sort of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, also it is quite humbling when you think about it. How To Save A Marriage After Having A Baby

I have no idea of some others that encircle me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from the house or no matter how my day has been. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage After Having A Baby

 

So What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage After Having A Baby

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for the partner when the amorous, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You understand by now your partner has flaws. You realize your partner isn’t perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay, although you know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your partner because of those imperfections instead of in spite of those.

This is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage After Having A Baby

The identical thing applies to you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you are exactly the exact same. You have faults. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections which people have.

What exactly can you get from that then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let’s difficulties become bigger than they actually are and rule our lives.

If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage that the key is in finding ways to put the emotional clutter to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make mistakes. It is fine to have thoughts and feelings. But above all of this is the love you have for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer all of them.

It’s possible to not enjoy your partner or not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage can stay constant.

It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage After Having A Baby

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage After Having A Baby

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