Certainly one of the most common questions spouses ask when confronting a marriage crisis is this: How To Save A Marriage After Domestic Violence 

Can I save my marriage if my partner does not want to help find a solution…?

How do I succeed I’m attempting to save my marriage on my own…?

It is a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other remains. One remains “in love”, the other is not unclear. Whatever it is that’s caused a couple to be apart, the one person who remains bears the possibility, uncertainty, fear, desire, hope of rescuing their marriage’ ALONE.

Considering that there are just two different people causing the health and well being of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to try and rescue it? Or, worse, when it’s his, or her, their fault so shouldn’t he, she, they be the ones to make amends? You’re only the victim here, afterall!

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Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

 

How You Can Save Your Relationship All on Your Own How To Save A Marriage After Domestic Violence

The first thing you need to understand is, if you want to rescue your marriage and if you end up alone in this desire, waiting for the other partner to make the first move would be the start of the end.

If you are seeking someone to blame or somebody else to put the physical and emotional work in to saving the marriage, again, it’s going to fail. How To Save A Marriage After Domestic Violence

The belief that the responsibility lies with the other individual is a self-defeating mindset. It propagates the belief that there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you ought to stand and see what comes your way.

NOT true!

There is still something you CAN DO. Even in solitude and your loneliness, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let us begin first by analyzing what it means to be on your own.

As human beings, we hate being lonely. It’s part of our genetic make up to be social creatures and develop connections with other people, whether through friendships or romantic interest. How we connect with other people of how we interact with people, and the nature is a fundamental aspect of development that is personal and emotional. How To Save A Marriage After Domestic Violence

The paradox is that as we grow older in trust, the love, companionship and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us happy human beings. Ideally, the older human person should have developed a strong sense of confidence, self-awareness and self-esteem as she or he reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we see the world, flaws, and all. These make up part of our private shelter amidst difficulties and challenges. This is named SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, lots people enter into adult life without even being conscious of this beautiful, human truth. We may have experienced abandonment in our youth or been disappointed by our relationships.

whatever it is, it has caused to shift from appropriate mature development to fears of abandonment and the inability to see that we can stand on our own two feet.

Thus, many of us enter relationships and marriages with dream, plan and the hope that we’d never be lonely. We {invest so much in our spouses and loved ones, focusing our whole beings on them and rely upon them to make us protected and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own toxin.

Subconsciously, we project the responsibility of our life happiness on the other person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for destiny and our own life happiness.

Problems develop when a spouse indicates some kind of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations placed upon them, and if they do so we fear. Our fears kick in, when our spouse leaves. When something goes wrong with our marriages, it’s very easy for us to place the blame of another person for having made us unhappy.How To Save A Marriage After Domestic Violence

So as to save your marriage when you’re the one doing it, the key is a paradigm shift, meaning, the key is to change your attitude and focus. Stop focusing on your spouse – stop the blaming, halt the inaction.

Take a close look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can definitely NOT control your partner’s feelings, attitude and reactions, but you can control your own. You can go from fearing abandonment to really taking responsibility for yourself and your own happiness.

This is where the individual truth about self-actualization comes in. Know, adapt and internalize this for yourself. Learn it. It will spell the difference not only in your marriage but in YOU.

A human being is not difficult to love. A happy person attracts happiness. In starting with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy, clingy, hard person to one who can provide an environment of safety, wisdom, trust and communication.

If each of you are able to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your lifetime happiness, you both have much less bags and much more real love to bring in the relationship. Your motivation shifts from being one of fear to being one of real love.

Rather than beat yourself up in desperation, try these tips to start your Personal transformation and lead your marriage to success:How To Save A Marriage After Domestic Violence

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not just for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the issues in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your spouse (and you) may just rediscover the person that they first fell in love with and more. For all you know, this is your kind that would allow your partner initiate communication and to come back. When that occurs, you have every chance to sit down with them, talk about your motivations, feelings and plans. You can even get to the real issues surrounding your marital difficulties and actually begin taking positive measures to work them through. How To Save A Marriage After Domestic Violence

In being open and mature, you can also provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once more. With all the confidence and sincerity you have gathered, take these measures. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or difficulties, find it to continue showing her or him that you do and loving your spouse. How To Save A Marriage After Domestic Violence

Through little acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t need to be grand gestures, they simply have to be sincere. And coming out of the mature, new you.

You might be making!

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