In the center of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked concerning what creates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Marriage After Divorce Is Filed
A number of guys in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects like their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these guys, these things felt simple, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such individuals or items was rewarding and easy to maintain.
A range of girls believed kitchen appliances, preferred clothes or shoes, older friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond which they had created either between individuals or with items they used in their lives. Words like reliable, reliable, and reassuring were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has quite simple needs, requiring only meals, shelter, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what kind of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it’s quite humbling when you consider it. How To Save A Marriage After Divorce Is Filed
I have no idea of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from regardless of how my day was or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage After Divorce Is Filed
Therefore What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage After Divorce Is Filed
Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without requirements. It’s the kind of love that you have for the partner when the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know chances are your spouse has flaws. You understand your partner isn’t perfect. You realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine, although you understand your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner because of those imperfections rather than in spite of them.
This really is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage After Divorce Is Filed
The same thing applies to you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re exactly the same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that is okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections which people have.
What exactly do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let’s difficulties become larger than they really are and rule our lives.
If you’re serious about saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to a side and let your unconditional love come through. It is fine to have faults and make errors. It is okay to have feelings and thoughts. But above all this is your love you’ve got for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer all of them.
It is possible to not like your partner or not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage might stay constant.
It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage After Divorce Is Filed
Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage After Divorce Is Filed
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