In the middle of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked concerning what generates the ideal relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save A Marriage After Divorce Filing

A number of men in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To every one of these guys, these items felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such individuals or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.

A range of girls considered kitchen appliances, preferred shoes or clothes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond that they had generated either between individuals or with things they used in their own lives. Words such as comforting, trustworthy, and reliable were used.

When my turn came to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has very simple needs, requiring shelter, just meals, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what sort of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it’s quite humbling when you consider it. How To Save A Marriage After Divorce Filing

I don’t know of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of regardless of how my day was or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage After Divorce Filing

 

Therefore What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage After Divorce Filing

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without requirements. It’s the type of love that you have for your partner once the romantic, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You know by now your partner has flaws. You understand your spouse isn’t perfect. You know your partner makes mistakes but that’s okay, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your partner due to the imperfections instead of despite of those.

That is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage After Divorce Filing

The identical thing applies to you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you are exactly the exact same. You have flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that is okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to overcome the flaws and imperfections which people have.

What exactly can you get from this then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let’s problems become larger than they actually are and rule our own lives.

If you’re serious about saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to place the psychological mess to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to possess flaws and make errors. It is fine to have thoughts and feelings. But over all of this is your love you’ve got for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer them all.

It is possible to not enjoy your partner or not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage might stay constant.

It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage After Divorce Filing

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage After Divorce Filing

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