When confronting a marriage crisis, this is one of the most frequent questions spouses ask: How To Save A Marriage After Depression 

Can I save my marriage if my partner does not want to help look for an answer…?

Just how do I succeed I’m attempting to save my marriage on my own…?

It’s a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other remains. One remains “in love”, the other is not unclear. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to be apart, the 1 person who remains bears the possibility, fear, doubt, desire, hope of saving their marriage’ ALONE.

Considering that there are just two different people causing the well being and health of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to actually try and rescue it? Or, worse, when it’s his, or her, their fault so shouldn’t he, she, they be the ones to make amends? You are just the victim here, after all!

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How You Can Save Your Relationship On Your Own How To Save A Marriage After Depression

The first thing you need to understand is, if you find yourself alone in this need and if you would like to rescue your marriage, waiting for the other partner to make the first move would be the beginning of the end.

If you are looking for someone to blame or someone else to put the psychological and physical work into saving the marriage it’s likely to fail. How To Save A Marriage After Depression

The belief that the responsibility lies with the other individual is a self-defeating mindset. It propagates the belief that there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you ought to stand and see what comes your way.

NOT true!

There’s still something that you are able to DO. Even in your solitude, and isolation, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let us start first by analyzing what it means to be all on your own.

As human beings, we hate being alone. It is part of our genetic make up to be social creatures and create connections with other people, whether friendships or romantic interest. The way we connect with other people and the nature of how we interact with individuals is a basic part of psychological and personal development. How To Save A Marriage After Depression

The paradox is that as we grow older in companionship, trust, the love and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us whole, happy human beings. Ideally, the older person should have developed a sense of self-awareness, confidence and self-esteem as she or he reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we view the world, flaws and all. These constitute part of our private shelter amidst difficulties and challenges. This is called SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, many of us enter into adult life without even being aware of this beautiful, human truth. We could have experienced abandonment in our childhood or been disappointed by our romantic relationships.

whatever it is, it has caused to change from appropriate adult development to fears of abandonment and the inability to find that we are able to stand on our own two feet.

Thus, lots of us enter marriages and relationships with plan, the hope and dream that we would never be lonely. We {invest so much in our spouses and loved ones, focusing our whole beings on them and relying on them to make us secure and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own toxin.

Subconsciously, we project the responsibility of our own life happiness on the other person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for our life happiness and destiny.

Problems develop when a partner indicates some form of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations unwittingly put upon them, and when they do so we panic. Our fears kick in when our partner leaves. When something goes wrong with our marriages, it is very easy for us to put the blame of the person for having made us miserable.How To Save A Marriage After Depression

In order to save your marriage when you are the only one doing it, the key then is a paradigm shift, meaning, the important thing is to change your attitude and focus. Stop focusing on your spouse – stop the blaming, halt the inaction.

Take a good look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can NOT restrain your partner’s feelings, attitude and responses, but you can control your own. You can go from fearing abandonment to really taking responsibility for yourself and your happiness.

This is where the human truth about self-actualization comes in. Understand, internalize and adapt this for yourself. Learn it. It will spell the difference not just in your marriage but in YOU.

A human being is not difficult to love. A happy person brings joy. In beginning with yourself, you can move from being an clingy, difficult person to one who can provide an environment of security, wisdom, trust and communication.

If each of you are able to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your lifetime happiness, you both have much bags and much more genuine love to bring into the relationship. Your motivation changes from being one of fear to being one of real love.

Try these tips to start your own personal transformation and lead your marriage to success rather than beat yourself up in Despair:How To Save A Marriage After Depression

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not only for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the issues in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your partner (and you) may just rediscover the person they first fell in love with and more. For all you know, this is your kind that would allow your partner initiate communication and to come back. When that occurs, you have every chance to sit down with them, discuss your motivations, plans and feelings. You can even get to the issues surrounding your marital difficulties and actually start taking positive steps to work them through. How To Save A Marriage After Depression

In being open and older, you could provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once again. With all the confidence and sincerity you’ve gathered, take these steps. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or problems, find it to continue loving your spouse and showing her or him that you do. How To Save A Marriage After Depression

Through subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t need to be grand gestures, they simply have to be sincere. And coming out of the new you.

You may be making mistakes that will jeopardize your union recovery!

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