In the middle of a workshop lately a pertinent question was asked concerning what generates the perfect relationship. We had been asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the last week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and also to think of what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save A Marriage After An Emotional Affair
A number of men in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items like their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To each of these guys, these things felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these individuals or items was rewarding and simple to maintain.
A range of women considered kitchen appliances, favourite shoes or clothes, older friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their own lives, and the bond which they had generated either between people or with items they used in their lives. Words such as comforting, dependable, and reliable were used.
When my turn came to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has simple needs, requiring meals, shelter, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it is quite humbling once you think about it. How To Save A Marriage After An Emotional Affair
I have no idea of some others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of regardless of how my day was or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage After An Emotional Affair
Therefore What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage After An Emotional Affair
Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without conditions. It is the kind of love that you have for your partner when the amorous, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know chances are your partner has flaws. You understand your partner is not perfect. You understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay, although you understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner due to the imperfections instead of despite of them.
This really is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage After An Emotional Affair
The same thing applies to you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the same. You’ve got flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections that people have.
So what do you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let our problems become bigger than they really are and rule our lives.
If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage that the secret is in finding ways to put the emotional clutter to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to have faults and make mistakes. It is okay to have thoughts and feelings. But above all of this is your love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not enjoy your spouse or perhaps not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage After An Emotional Affair
Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage After An Emotional Affair
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