In the center of a workshop recently a important question was asked concerning what generates the ideal relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week which in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and also to think of what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save A Marriage After Addiction

A number of men in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To each of these men, these things felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such individuals or items was rewarding and easy to maintain.

A number of girls believed kitchen appliances, favored clothes or shoes, older friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond that they had generated either between individuals or with things they utilized in their lives. Words such as comforting, dependable, and reliable were used.

When my turn came to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring meals, shelter, and love. No matter how my day has been or what sort of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it is very humbling when you think about it. How To Save A Marriage After Addiction

I have no idea of any others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from no matter how my day has been or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage After Addiction

 

Therefore What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage After Addiction

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without conditions. It’s the kind of love that you have for your partner when the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You know chances are your partner has faults. You know your partner isn’t perfect. You know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that is fine, although you realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse because of those imperfections rather than in spite of them.

That really is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage After Addiction

The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the same. You’ve got flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that is fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections which people have.

So what can you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our issues become larger than they really are and rule our own lives.

If you’re serious about saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to put the emotional clutter to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is fine to possess flaws and make errors. It is fine to have feelings and thoughts. But over all of this is the love you have for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer all of them.

It’s possible to not enjoy your partner or perhaps not like what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage can remain constant.

It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage After Addiction

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage After Addiction

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