In the middle of a workshop recently a important question was asked about what creates the ideal relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the last week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and also to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Marriage After A One Night Stand
A number of guys in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items like their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To every one of these guys, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and easy to keep.
A number of girls believed kitchen appliances, favourite clothes or shoes, old friends, acquaintances, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond that they had generated either between people or with things they utilized in their own lives. Words such as dependable, reliable, and reassuring were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has quite simple needs, requiring shelter, meals, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it is quite humbling once you consider it. How To Save A Marriage After A One Night Stand
I have no idea of any others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of the house or regardless of how my day was. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage After A One Night Stand
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage After A One Night Stand
Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without requirements. It’s the kind of love that you have for your partner when the amorous, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know by now your partner has flaws. You realize your partner is not perfect. You understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine, although you understand your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your spouse due to the imperfections as opposed to despite of them.
This really is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage After A One Night Stand
The same thing applies for you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the same. You have faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections which people have.
So what can you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let’s problems become larger than they actually are and dominate our own lives.
If you’re serious about saving your marriage that the secret is in finding ways to place the psychological mess to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to possess flaws and make mistakes. It is fine to have thoughts and feelings. But above all of this is your love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer all of them.
It is possible to not like your spouse or not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage might stay constant.
It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage After A One Night Stand
Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage After A One Night Stand
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