When facing a marriage crisis, this is one of the questions spouses ask: How To Save A Marriage After A Long Separation 

How can I save my marriage if my partner doesn’t want to help look for a solution…?

Just how do I succeed I am trying to save my marriage by myself…?

It is a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains “in love”, the other is not unclear. Whatever it is that’s caused a couple to become apart, the 1 person who remains bears the prospect, uncertainty, fear, desire, hope of rescuing her or his marriage’ ALONE.

Considering that there are just two different people contributing to the health and well being of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to actually try and rescue it? Or, worse, if it’s his, or her, their fault consequently shouldn’t he, she, they be the ones to make amends? You are just the victim here, after all!

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Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

 

How You Can Save Your Marriage On Your Own How To Save A Marriage After A Long Separation

The very first thing you need to understand is, if you find yourself alone in this need and if you wish to save your marriage, waiting for the other spouse to make the initial move would be the beginning of the end.

If you are seeking someone to blame or somebody else to set the physical and emotional work in to saving the marriage it is likely to fail. How To Save A Marriage After A Long Separation

The belief that the responsibility lies with another individual is a self-defeating mindset. It propagates the impression that there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you ought to stand and see what’s your way.

NOT correct!

There is still something you are able to DO. Even in solitude and your loneliness, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let us begin first by analyzing what it means to be on your own.

As human beings, we hate being lonely. It’s a part of our genetic make up to be social creatures and develop connections with other people, whether friendships or romantic interest. How we connect with the nature of how we interact with individuals and others is a basic aspect of emotional and personal development. How To Save A Marriage After A Long Separation

The paradox is that as we grow older in trust, the love, companionship and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us whole, happy human beings. Ideally, the mature person should have developed a strong sense of self-awareness, confidence and self-esteem as he or she reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we view the world, flaws and all. These make up part of our personal shelter amidst difficulties and challenges. This is called SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, many of us enter into adult life without being conscious of this gorgeous, human truth. We could have experienced abandonment in our childhood or been disappointed by our relationships.

whatever it is, it has caused to change from proper mature development to fears of abandonment and the inability to see that we are able to stand on our own two feet.

Thus, many people enter marriages and relationships with plan the hope and dream that we would never be alone. We {invest so much in our spouses and loved ones, focusing our entire beings on them and relying on them to make us happy and protected. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own toxin.

Subconsciously, we project the duty of our own life happiness on the person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for our own life happiness and destiny.

Problems develop when a partner indicates some form of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations unwittingly put upon them, and when they do so we fear. Our fears kick in, when our spouse leaves. When something goes wrong with our marriages, it’s extremely easy for us to place the blame of another person for having made us miserable.How To Save A Marriage After A Long Separation

In order to save your marriage when you are the one doing it, the key then is a paradigm shift, meaning, the important thing is to change your mindset and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, stop the inaction.

Take a close look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can NOT control your partner’s feelings, attitude and reactions, but you can control your own. You can always go from fearing abandonment to taking responsibility for yourself and your happiness.

This is where the human truth about self-actualization comes in. Know, internalize and adapt this on your own. Learn it. It will spell the difference not just in your marriage but in YOU.

An entire human being is not difficult to love. A happy person attracts happiness. In starting with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy hard person to a person who can provide an environment of safety, wisdom, trust and communication.

If each of you have the ability to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your own lifetime happiness, you both have much baggage and more real love to bring into the relationship. Your motivation shifts from being one of fear to being one of authentic love.

Try these tips to start your own personal transformation and lead your marriage to success Instead of beat yourself up in Despair:How To Save A Marriage After A Long Separation

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not just for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the issues in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your spouse (and you) may just rediscover the person that they first fell in love with and more. For all you know, this is your type that would allow your partner to return and initiate communication. When that happens, you have every chance to sit down with him or her, discuss your motivations, feelings and plans. You can even get to the real issues surrounding your marital difficulties and actually start taking positive measures to work them through. How To Save A Marriage After A Long Separation

In being open and older, you could provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once again. With sincerity and all the confidence you have gathered, take these measures. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or difficulties, find it to keep showing her or him that you do and loving your partner. How To Save A Marriage After A Long Separation

Through little, subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t need to be gestures, they just have to be sincere. And coming out of the adult, new you.

You may be making!

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