In the center of a workshop recently a important question was asked concerning what creates the perfect relationship. We had been asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the previous week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Marriage After A Long Separation

A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items like their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these guys, these items felt simple, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such individuals or items was rewarding and simple to keep.

A number of girls considered kitchen appliances, favored clothes or shoes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond that they had created either between individuals or with items they used in their own lives. Words such as reliable, dependable, and comforting were used.

When my turn arrived to identify my perfect connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring only meals, shelter, and love. No matter how my day has been or what sort of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it’s quite humbling when you think about it. How To Save A Marriage After A Long Separation

I have no idea of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of the house or regardless of how my day has been. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage After A Long Separation

 

So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage After A Long Separation

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without requirements. It is the type of love that you have for your partner once the romantic, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You know chances are your partner has faults. You realize your partner is not perfect. You know your partner makes mistakes but that’s okay, although you realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner because of the imperfections as opposed to despite of those.

That is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage After A Long Separation

The same thing applies to you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the same. You have faults. You aren’t perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that is fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to overcome the flaws and imperfections that people have.

What exactly can you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let’s issues become bigger than they really are and dominate our lives.

If you’re serious about saving your marriage that the secret is in finding methods to put the psychological mess to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to possess flaws and make errors. It’s fine to have thoughts and feelings. But above all this is the love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer all of them.

It is possible to not enjoy your spouse or maybe not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage can remain constant.

It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage After A Long Separation

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage After A Long Separation

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