In the center of a workshop recently a important question was asked concerning what generates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week that in one’s mind was the perfect relationship, and to think of exactly what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Marriage After 30 Years

A number of men in the group thought of their automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To every one of these guys, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with such people or objects was rewarding and simple to keep.

A number of women believed kitchen appliances, favorite clothes or shoes, old friends, acquaintances, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond which they had created either between individuals or with items they utilized in their own lives. Words like trustworthy reliable, and reassuring were used.

When my turn arrived to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has simple needs, requiring meals, shelter, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what sort of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it’s quite humbling when you consider it. How To Save A Marriage After 30 Years

I don’t know of any others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of the house or no matter how my day has been. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage After 30 Years

 

So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Marriage After 30 Years

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without conditions. It is the kind of love that you have for your partner once the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You understand by now your partner has faults. You realize your spouse isn’t perfect. You know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that is fine, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your spouse because of those imperfections instead of despite of them.

That really is unconditional love.How To Save A Marriage After 30 Years

The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You admit that you are the same. You’ve got flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections which people have.

So what do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all mess our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let’s problems become larger than they really are and rule our own lives.

If you are serious about saving your marriage that the secret is in finding ways to place the emotional clutter to a side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to have faults and make errors. It is okay to have feelings and thoughts. But above all this is your love you’ve got for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer them all.

It’s possible to not enjoy your spouse or maybe not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage might stay constant.

It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Marriage After 30 Years

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Marriage After 30 Years

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