In the middle of a workshop lately a pertinent question was asked about what generates the perfect relationship. We had been asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week which in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and also to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save A Long Term Marriage

A number of guys in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items such as their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To every one of these men, these items felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these individuals or objects was rewarding and easy to keep.

A range of women considered kitchen appliances, favorite clothes or shoes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond that they had generated either between individuals or with items they used in their own lives. Words like reliable, dependable, and comforting were used.

When my turn arrived to identify my perfect connection, I thought of my dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring meals, shelter, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what sort of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it is very humbling when you consider it. How To Save A Long Term Marriage

I have no idea of any others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of the house or no matter how my day was. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Long Term Marriage

 

Therefore What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Long Term Marriage

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for the partner once the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You understand chances are your partner has flaws. You understand your spouse isn’t perfect. You know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay, although you know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse because of the imperfections instead of in spite of those.

This is unconditional love.How To Save A Long Term Marriage

The same thing applies for you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You admit that you are the exact same. You have flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections that people have.

So what do you get from that then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let’s problems become larger than they actually are and dominate our own lives.

If you are serious about saving your marriage that the secret is in finding ways to place the psychological mess to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is fine to possess flaws and make mistakes. It is fine to have thoughts and feelings. But over all this is your love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer all of them.

It’s possible to not like your partner or perhaps not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage can stay constant.

It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Long Term Marriage

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Long Term Marriage

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