In the middle of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked concerning what generates the perfect relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Long Marriage

A number of men in the group thought of their automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects like their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To each of these guys, these items felt simple, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and simple to maintain.

A number of girls considered kitchen appliances, favored shoes or clothes, older friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond which they had created either between people or with items they used in their own lives. Words such as comforting, trustworthy, and reliable were used.

When my turn came to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring just food, shelter, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it is quite humbling once you think about it. How To Save A Long Marriage

I don’t know of any others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of the house or regardless of how my day has been. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Long Marriage

 

Therefore What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Long Marriage

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without requirements. It’s the type of love that you have for the partner once the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You understand chances are your partner has faults. You understand your partner is not perfect. You realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that is okay, although you realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner due to those imperfections instead of despite of them.

That really is unconditional love.How To Save A Long Marriage

The same thing applies to you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you’re the same. You’ve got faults. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that is okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections that people have.

So what can you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let our difficulties become bigger than they really are and rule our own lives.

If you’re serious about saving your marriage that the key is in finding methods to place the emotional clutter to a side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to have faults and make mistakes. It’s okay to have thoughts and feelings. But over all of this is the love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer all of them.

It’s possible to not enjoy your spouse or perhaps not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for your spouse and your marriage might stay constant.

It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save A Long Marriage

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Long Marriage

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