In the center of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked about what generates the perfect relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the last week that in one’s mind was the perfect relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Save A Horrible Marriage

A number of men in the group thought of their automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects like their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these men, these items felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such people or items was rewarding and easy to keep.

A range of women considered kitchen appliances, favored clothes or shoes, older friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond that they had generated either between people or with items they used in their lives. Words such as reassuring, dependable, and reliable were used.

When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has very simple demands, requiring shelter, only food, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what sort of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, also it is very humbling when you think about it. How To Save A Horrible Marriage

I don’t know of any others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of no matter how my day was or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Horrible Marriage

 

Therefore What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Horrible Marriage

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without requirements. It’s the type of love that you have for the partner when the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the amorous love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You know by now your spouse has flaws. You realize your partner is not perfect. You understand your partner makes mistakes but that is okay, although you know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your spouse due to those imperfections as opposed to despite of them.

That really is unconditional love.How To Save A Horrible Marriage

The same thing applies to you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re exactly the exact same. You’ve got flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that is okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections which people have.

So what do you get from that then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let’s difficulties become bigger than they actually are and rule our own lives.

If you are seriously interested in saving your marriage the secret is in finding methods to place the psychological mess to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to have faults and make mistakes. It is fine to have thoughts and feelings. But over all of this is the love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer all of them.

It is possible to not enjoy your spouse or not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage can stay constant.

It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save A Horrible Marriage

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Horrible Marriage

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