In the middle of a workshop lately a important question was asked about what creates the perfect relationship. We had been asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the last week which in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Hopeless Marriage
A number of guys in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To each of these guys, these things felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and easy to keep.
A number of women believed kitchen appliances, favorite clothes or shoes, older friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond that they had generated either between individuals or with items they used in their lives. Words such as reliable reliable, and reassuring were used.
When my turn came to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my dog. My dog has very simple needs, requiring shelter, meals, and love. No matter how my day was or what type of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it is very humbling once you consider it. How To Save A Hopeless Marriage
I don’t know of some others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of the house or regardless of how my day was. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Hopeless Marriage
So What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Hopeless Marriage
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without requirements. It’s the kind of love that you have for your partner when the amorous, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You realize by now your partner has flaws. You understand your partner isn’t perfect. You know your partner makes mistakes but that is okay, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner due to those imperfections rather than despite of them.
This really is unconditional love.How To Save A Hopeless Marriage
The identical thing applies for you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you are exactly the exact same. You have faults. You aren’t perfect. You know that you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to overcome the flaws and imperfections that people have.
What exactly can you get from that then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let our problems become larger than they really are and rule our lives.
If you are serious about saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to place the emotional clutter to a side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make errors. It’s fine to have thoughts and feelings. But over all of this is your love you’ve got for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not enjoy your partner or not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Hopeless Marriage
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