In the middle of a workshop recently a important question was asked concerning what generates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to develop a relationship we had with something in the last week that in one’s mind was the perfect relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Failed Marriage After 39 Years

A number of men in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To every one of these guys, these things felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such individuals or items was rewarding and simple to maintain.

A number of girls considered kitchen appliances, preferred clothes or shoes, older friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their own lives, and the bond that they had generated either between individuals or with items they used in their lives. Words like trustworthy reliable, and reassuring were used.

When my turn came to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my dog. My dog has quite simple needs, requiring shelter, just meals, and love. No matter how my day was or what sort of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it is quite humbling once you consider it. How To Save A Failed Marriage After 39 Years

I have no idea of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from the house or no matter how my day has been. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Failed Marriage After 39 Years

 

So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Failed Marriage After 39 Years

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without requirements. It’s the type of love that you have for your partner once the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You understand chances are your spouse has faults. You know your spouse is not perfect. You understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that is okay, although you realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your spouse because of the imperfections instead of in spite of those.

This really is unconditional love.How To Save A Failed Marriage After 39 Years

The identical thing applies for you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you are the exact same. You’ve got faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections which people have.

What exactly can you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all mess our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let our issues become larger than they really are and dominate our own lives.

If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to put the emotional clutter to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to have faults and make errors. It’s fine to have feelings and thoughts. But above all this is the love you’ve got for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer them all.

It is possible to not like your spouse or maybe not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage can stay constant.

It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A Failed Marriage After 39 Years

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Failed Marriage After 39 Years

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