In the center of a workshop recently a important question was asked about what generates the perfect relationship. We had been asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the last week which in one’s mind was the perfect relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Codependent Marriage

A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects such as their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To each of these guys, these items felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these individuals or items was rewarding and simple to maintain.

A range of girls believed kitchen appliances, preferred shoes or clothes, old friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their own lives, and the bond that they had generated either between individuals or with things they used in their lives. Words like trustworthy reliable, and reassuring were used.

When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring just food, shelter, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what type of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it’s very humbling when you think about it. How To Save A Codependent Marriage

I have no idea of any others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from the house or regardless of how my day was. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Codependent Marriage

 

So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Codependent Marriage

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without requirements. It’s the kind of love that you have for the partner once the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You understand by now your spouse has faults. You realize your partner is not perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes but that’s fine, although you understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner because of those imperfections rather than despite of those.

That is unconditional love.How To Save A Codependent Marriage

The identical thing applies to you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you’re exactly the exact same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes sometimes, but that is fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections which people have.

So what do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let our difficulties become bigger than they actually are and dominate our lives.

If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage that the secret is in finding methods to place the emotional clutter to a side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to possess flaws and make errors. It is okay to have feelings and thoughts. But over all this is your love you have for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer them all.

It’s possible to not like your spouse or not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage can stay constant.

It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save A Codependent Marriage

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save A Codependent Marriage

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