In the middle of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked concerning what generates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to develop a relationship we had with something in the last week that in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A Blended Marriage
A number of guys in the group thought of their automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items such as their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To each of these guys, these things felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such people or objects was rewarding and easy to keep.
A range of women considered kitchen appliances, favorite shoes or clothes, older friends, acquaintances, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond that they had created either between individuals or with items they utilized in their own lives. Words such as reliable, trustworthy, and reassuring were used.
When my turn came to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has rather simple demands, requiring food, shelter, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it’s very humbling once you consider it. How To Save A Blended Marriage
I don’t know of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from regardless of how my day was or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A Blended Marriage
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A Blended Marriage
Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without conditions. It is the kind of love that you have for the partner once the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand chances are your spouse has flaws. You know your spouse isn’t perfect. You know your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine, although you realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner due to those imperfections instead of in spite of those.
This is unconditional love.How To Save A Blended Marriage
The same thing applies for you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You admit that you’re the same. You have faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections that people have.
What exactly do you get from that then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let’s problems become larger than they actually are and rule our lives.
If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to place the emotional clutter to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is fine to possess flaws and make mistakes. It’s okay to have feelings and thoughts. But over all of this is the love you have for your spouse, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer them all.
It’s possible to not enjoy your partner or perhaps not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage might remain constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save A Blended Marriage
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