In the center of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked about what generates the ideal relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with something in the last week that in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and also to think of what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A 40 Year Marriage

A number of men in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects like their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To every one of these men, these things felt simple, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these people or items was rewarding and easy to maintain.

A range of women believed kitchen appliances, favored shoes or clothes, older friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their own lives, and the bond which they had created either between individuals or with items they utilized in their own lives. Words like reliable, dependable, and comforting were used.

When my turn arrived to identify my perfect connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring shelter, just food, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it is quite humbling when you think about it. How To Save A 40 Year Marriage

I don’t know of any others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of the house or regardless of how my day was. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A 40 Year Marriage

 

So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A 40 Year Marriage

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without conditions. It’s the type of love that you have for the partner when the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You realize chances are your spouse has faults. You realize your partner isn’t perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that is okay, although you realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner because of those imperfections as opposed to despite of those.

This really is unconditional love.How To Save A 40 Year Marriage

The identical thing applies for you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You admit that you are exactly the same. You have flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that is okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections that people have.

So what can you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let our problems become larger than they actually are and dominate our lives.

If you’re serious about saving your marriage that the key is in finding ways to put the emotional clutter to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is fine to have faults and make errors. It’s okay to have thoughts and feelings. But above all this is your love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer all of them.

It is possible to not enjoy your partner or maybe not like what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage might stay constant.

It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Save A 40 Year Marriage

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save A 40 Year Marriage

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