In the center of a workshop lately a important question was asked about what generates the perfect relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the last week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Save A 20 Year Marriage

A number of guys in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects such as their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To every one of these men, these things felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.

A number of girls believed kitchen appliances, favorite shoes or clothes, old friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond which they had generated either between individuals or with things they used in their own lives. Words such as trustworthy, reliable, and reassuring were used.

When my turn arrived to identify my perfect connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has quite simple demands, requiring meals, shelter, and love. No matter how my day was or what type of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it is quite humbling once you think about it. How To Save A 20 Year Marriage

I don’t know of some others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from regardless of how my day was or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Save A 20 Year Marriage

 

Therefore What Is Unconditional Love?How To Save A 20 Year Marriage

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without conditions. It’s the type of love that you have for your partner when the romantic, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You understand by now your partner has flaws. You realize your spouse isn’t perfect. You know your partner makes mistakes but that is okay, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse because of those imperfections rather than despite of them.

That really is unconditional love.How To Save A 20 Year Marriage

The same thing applies for you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you’re exactly the same. You’ve got flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections that people have.

So what can you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let’s issues become larger than they actually are and rule our own lives.

If you are serious about saving your marriage that the key is in finding methods to put the emotional clutter to a side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to possess flaws and make errors. It is okay to have thoughts and feelings. But over all this is your love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer them all.

It’s possible to not like your spouse or perhaps not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage can stay constant.

It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Save A 20 Year Marriage

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Save A 20 Year Marriage

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