When confronting a marriage crisis, this is certainly one of the questions spouses ask: How To Repair Marriage 

Can I save my marriage if my partner doesn’t want to help find a solution…?

How do I succeed I am attempting to save my marriage on my own…?

It’s a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other remains. One remains “in love”, the other is unclear. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to be apart, the 1 person who remains bears the possibility, uncertainty, fear, desire, hope of saving his or her marriage’ ALONE.

Considering that there are just two people causing the health and well being of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to actually decide to try and rescue it? Or, worse, if it’s his, or her, their fault so shouldn’t he, she, they’re the ones to make amends? You are just the victim here, after all!

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Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

 

The Best Way You Can Save Your Relationship All on Your Own How To Repair Marriage

The very first thing you must understand is, if you would like to save your marriage and if you end up alone in this desire, waiting for the other partner to make the first move would be the start of the end.

Again, it is likely to fail, if you are looking for a person to blame or someone else to put the physical and emotional work in to saving the marriage. How To Repair Marriage

The belief that the responsibility lies with another individual is a self-defeating attitude. It propagates the belief that there is NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you ought to stand and see what’s your way.

NOT true!

There’s still something that you are able to DO. Even in solitude and your loneliness, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let’s start first by examining what it means to be on your own.

As human beings, we hate being lonely. It’s a part of our genetic make up to become social creatures and develop connections with other people, whether friendships or romantic interest. The way we connect with the character of how we interact with individuals and other people is a fundamental part of development that is emotional and personal. How To Repair Marriage

The paradox is that as we grow older in the love, trust, companionship, and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us whole, happy human beings. Ideally, the mature person should have developed a strong sense of self-esteem, confidence and self-awareness as she or he reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we view the world, flaws and all. These make up part of difficulties and our private shelter amidst challenges. This is named SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, lots of us enter into adult life without being aware of this beautiful, human truth. We may have experienced abandonment in our youth or been disappointed by our relationships.

whatever it is, it has caused to shift from appropriate adult development to fears of abandonment and the inability to see that we can stand on our own two feet.

Thus, many of us enter marriages and relationships with the hope, dream and plan that we’d never be lonely. We {invest so much in our partners and loved ones, focusing our entire beings on them and rely upon them to make us happy and protected. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own toxin.

Subconsciously, we project the duty of our own life pleasure on the person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for our life happiness and destiny.

Problems develop when a spouse indicates some kind of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations placed upon them, and if they do so we panic. Our fears kick in when our partner leaves. When something goes wrong with our marriages, it is very easy for us to put the blame of another person for having made us unhappy.How To Repair Marriage

So as to save your marriage when you’re the only one doing it, the key then is a paradigm shift the important thing is to change your attitude and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, stop the inaction.

Take a good look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can NOT control your partner’s feelings, attitude and reactions, but you can control your own. You can go from fearing abandonment to actually taking responsibility for yourself and your happiness.

This is where the individual truth about self-actualization comes in. Know, internalize and adapt this for yourself. Learn it. It will spell the difference not just in your marriage but in YOU.

A whole human being is not difficult to love. A happy person attracts happiness. In beginning with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy, clingy, hard person to a person who can offer an environment of safety, wisdom, trust and open communication.

If each of you have the ability to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your own life happiness, you both have much less baggage and much more real love to bring in the relationship. Your motivation shifts from being one of fear to being one of real love.

Rather than beat up yourself in desperation, try these tips to start your Personal transformation and lead your marriage to success:How To Repair Marriage

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not just for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the difficulties in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your partner (and you) may just rediscover the person they first fell in love with and more. For all you know, this is the type of you that would allow your partner initiate communication and to come back. When that happens, you have every opportunity to sit down with them, discuss your motivations, feelings and plans. You can even get to the issues surrounding your marital difficulties and actually begin taking steps to work them through. How To Repair Marriage

In being open and older, you could also provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once again. With sincerity and all the confidence you’ve gathered, take these steps. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or difficulties, find it to continue showing him or her that you do and loving your partner. How To Repair Marriage

Through small, subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t have to be grand gestures, they just have to be sincere. And coming out of the new you.

You could be making!

You can not afford to give your marriage 50 percent…

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