In the middle of a workshop recently a important question was asked about what generates the ideal relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week that in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and also to think of what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Repair A Marriage After Infidelity
A number of guys in the group thought of the automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items like their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To each of these guys, these items felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with these individuals or items was rewarding and easy to maintain.
A range of women believed kitchen appliances, favorite shoes or clothes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond that they had generated either between individuals or with things they utilized in their own lives. Words like comforting, trustworthy, and reliable were used.
When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has very simple demands, requiring just food, shelter, and love. No matter how my day was or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it’s quite humbling when you think about it. How To Repair A Marriage After Infidelity
I don’t know of some others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from the house or no matter how my day has been. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Repair A Marriage After Infidelity
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Repair A Marriage After Infidelity
Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without requirements. It is the type of love that you have for your partner when the amorous, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know chances are your partner has flaws. You realize your spouse is not perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes but that is okay, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your partner because of the imperfections as opposed to in spite of them.
This is unconditional love.How To Repair A Marriage After Infidelity
The same thing applies for you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the exact same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that is okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections which people have.
So what do you get from that then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let our problems become larger than they actually are and rule our lives.
If you are serious about saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to put the emotional clutter to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It is fine to possess flaws and make errors. It’s okay to have thoughts and feelings. But above all this is the love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer them all.
It is possible to not like your spouse or perhaps not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Repair A Marriage After Infidelity
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