In the middle of a workshop recently a important question was asked concerning what creates the perfect relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the last week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Repair A Marriage After Divorce
A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items such as their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To every one of these men, these items felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such people or items was rewarding and easy to maintain.
A range of women considered kitchen appliances, preferred clothes or shoes, older friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond which they had generated either between people or with things they used in their lives. Words like dependable reliable, and reassuring were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my dog. My dog has quite simple needs, requiring only meals, shelter, and love. No matter how my day was or what sort of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it is quite humbling once you think about it. How To Repair A Marriage After Divorce
I have no idea of some others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of no matter how my day was or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Repair A Marriage After Divorce
So What Is Unconditional Love?How To Repair A Marriage After Divorce
Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without conditions. It’s the kind of love that you have for the partner once the amorous, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you create the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand chances are your spouse has flaws. You know your spouse isn’t perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes but that’s okay, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse because of the imperfections rather than despite of them.
That is unconditional love.How To Repair A Marriage After Divorce
The same thing applies to you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You admit that you’re exactly the exact same. You have faults. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections that people have.
So what do you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let’s problems become bigger than they really are and dominate our lives.
If you are serious about saving your marriage that the key is in finding ways to place the emotional clutter to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is okay to possess flaws and make errors. It’s fine to have feelings and thoughts. But over all this is your love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer them all.
It is possible to not enjoy your partner or not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage can stay constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Repair A Marriage After Divorce
Final ThoughtsHow To Repair A Marriage After Divorce
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