In the center of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked about what generates the ideal relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the last week that in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Repair A Marriage After An Affair

A number of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects like their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To every one of these guys, these items felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and simple to keep.

A number of girls considered kitchen appliances, favorite clothes or shoes, older friends, acquaintances, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond which they had generated either between people or with things they utilized in their own lives. Words like reliable, dependable, and comforting were used.

When my turn arrived to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has very simple needs, requiring just meals, shelter, and love. Regardless of how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it’s very humbling once you consider it. How To Repair A Marriage After An Affair

I have no idea of some others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of the house or no matter how my day has been. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Repair A Marriage After An Affair

 

So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Repair A Marriage After An Affair

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without conditions. It’s the type of love that you have for the partner once the romantic, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You know by now your spouse has flaws. You know your spouse is not perfect. You understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that is fine, although you realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner due to those imperfections rather than in spite of those.

That really is unconditional love.How To Repair A Marriage After An Affair

The identical thing applies to you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the exact same. You have faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that is okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections which people have.

So what can you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let’s issues become larger than they really are and rule our lives.

If you’re serious about saving your marriage that the secret is in finding methods to place the emotional clutter to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is fine to have faults and make mistakes. It’s fine to have feelings and thoughts. But above all of this is the love you have for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer all of them.

It’s possible to not like your spouse or perhaps not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage might stay constant.

It is the right time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Repair A Marriage After An Affair

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Repair A Marriage After An Affair

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