When confronting a marriage crisis, This is one of the most frequent questions spouses ask: How To Repair A Failing Marriage 

Can I save my marriage if my partner does not want to help find a solution…?

Just how do I succeed I’m attempting to save my marriage by myself…?

It’s a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other remains. One remains “in love”, the other is unclear. Whatever it is that’s caused a couple to be apart, the 1 person who remains bears the possibility, uncertainty, fear, desire, hope of saving his or her marriage’ ALONE.

Considering that there are just two different people contributing to the total health and well being of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to actually try and save it? Or, worse, when it’s his, or her, their fault so shouldn’t he, she, they’re the ones to make amends? You’re just the victim here, after all!

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Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

 

How You Can Save Your Marriage All on Your Own How To Repair A Failing Marriage

The first thing you must understand is, if you want to rescue your marriage and if you find yourself alone in this desire, waiting for the other partner to make the initial move would be the start of the end.

If you are seeking a person to blame or somebody else to put the psychological and physical work in to saving the marriage, again, it is going to fail. How To Repair A Failing Marriage

The belief that the responsibility lies with another individual is a self-defeating attitude. It propagates the impression that there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you should stand and watch what comes your way.

NOT true!

There is still something you CAN DO. Even in solitude and your loneliness, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let’s begin by analyzing what it means to be all on your own.

As human beings, we hate being lonely. It is part of our genetic make up to be social creatures and develop connections with others, whether friendships or romantic interest. How we connect with others of how we interact with individuals and the character is a basic part of psychological and personal development. How To Repair A Failing Marriage

The paradox is that as we grow older in trust the love, companionship, and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us whole, happy human beings. Ideally, the older person should have developed a strong sense of self-esteem, confidence and self-awareness as he or she reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we see the world, flaws, and all. These make up part of our personal shelter amidst challenges and difficulties. This is called SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, many people enter into adult life without even being conscious of this gorgeous, human truth. We may have experienced abandonment in our childhood or been disappointed by our romantic relationships.

whatever it is, it has caused to change from appropriate adult development to fears of abandonment and the inability to see that we can stand on our own two feet.

Thus, many of us enter marriages and relationships with plan the hope and dream that we would never be lonely. We {invest so much in our spouses and loved ones, focusing our entire beings on them and rely upon them to make us protected and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own poison.

Subconsciously, we project the duty of our life happiness on the person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for destiny and our life happiness.

Problems develop when a spouse indicates some form of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations unwittingly put upon them, and if they do so we panic. When our partner leaves, our fears kick in. When something goes wrong with our marriages, it’s very easy for us to put the blame of another person for having made us unhappy.How To Repair A Failing Marriage

So as to save your marriage when you’re the one doing it, the key is a paradigm shift the key is to change your attitude and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, halt the inaction.

Take a good look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can definitely NOT control your partner’s feelings, attitude and responses, but you can control your own. You can always go from fearing abandonment to actually taking responsibility for yourself and your happiness.

This is where the individual truth about self-actualization comes in. Know, adapt and internalize this on your own. Learn it. It will spell the difference not just in your marriage but in YOU.

An entire human being is easy to love. A happy person brings joy. In starting with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy hard person to a person who can offer an environment of safety, wisdom, trust and communication.

If each of you have the ability to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your life happiness, you both have less bags and more genuine love to bring in the relationship. Your motivation shifts from being one of fear to being one of authentic love.

Rather than beat yourself up in desperation, try these tips to start your own transformation and lead your marriage to success:How To Repair A Failing Marriage

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not just for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the difficulties in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your partner (and you) may just rediscover the person they first fell in love with and more. For all you know, this is your kind that would allow your partner to return and initiate communication. When that occurs, you have every chance to sit down with him or her, talk about your motivations, plans and feelings. You may even get to the issues surrounding your marital difficulties and actually start taking positive steps to work them through. How To Repair A Failing Marriage

In being open and older, you can also provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once more. With sincerity and all the confidence you have gathered, take these measures. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or difficulties, find it to continue loving your partner and showing her or him that you do. How To Repair A Failing Marriage

Through small, subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t have to be grand gestures, they simply have to be sincere. And coming from the new you.

You could be making!

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