How To Get Your Husband Back When He Doesn’t Love You
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m certain you all agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of those people that you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.
When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your own thoughts in the conclusion. How To Get Your Husband Back When He Doesn’t Love You
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Get Your Husband Back When He Doesn’t Love You
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you could do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with feeling and real sincerity to be effective.
So you will need time to calm down before you confer with your partner, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you are BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Your Husband Back When He Doesn’t Love You
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you instantly if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I am happy to give you open access to all my accounts and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to offer you open access to every one my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” How To Get Your Husband Back When He Doesn’t Love You
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a spouse often makes is that when they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — since it will only reverse the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for whatever they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the adjustments in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Your Husband Back When He Doesn’t Love You
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your partner in some way, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you’re, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem over-the-top, but the truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is nice, but it is not going to have the same impact as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Get Your Husband Back When He Doesn’t Love You