How To Get Your Husband Back In Bed
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I am certain you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it is our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to share your own thoughts and experiences in the end. How To Get Your Husband Back In Bed
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Get Your Husband Back In Bed
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you will need the time before you confer with your partner, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is just going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Your Husband Back In Bed
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you access to all my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you access to every one of my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Get Your Husband Back In Bed
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a spouse frequently makes is that when they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or mad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — since it will undo the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Your Husband Back In Bed
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order for their trust to be recovered, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers once you have messed up is fine, but it’s not going to have the identical effect as constant small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you value them.
Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Get Your Husband Back In Bed