How To Get Your Husband Back In A Godly Way
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am sure you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of those people that you love the most. It’s never simple.
But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the end. How To Get Your Husband Back In A Godly Way
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Get Your Husband Back In A Godly Way
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll be able to then focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need the time until you apologize to your partner, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is only going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Your Husband Back In A Godly Way
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to give you open access to all of my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” How To Get Your Husband Back In A Godly Way
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner often makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
So don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — since it will reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the adjustments in your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Your Husband Back In A Godly Way
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your partner in some way, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers once you have messed up is nice, but it’s not going to have the identical impact as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Get Your Husband Back In A Godly Way