How To Get Your Husband Back During A Divorce

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m certain you all agree!

By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It is never easy.

But the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our partners.

When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.

It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.

Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your thoughts and experiences in the end. How To Get Your Husband Back During A Divorce

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Get Your Husband Back During A Divorce

 

1. Forgive yourself

You could be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?

However there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful is going to use all of your emotional energy up.

This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll have the ability to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.

Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.

However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility

In regards to stating sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to be effective.

So you will need time until you confer with your spouse, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it is, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.

For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.

This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them farther away.

So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Your Husband Back During A Divorce

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.

For instance:

“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.

I’m happy to give you open access to all my account and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you access to every one my accounts and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” How To Get Your Husband Back During A Divorce

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common premise that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.

And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.

So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.

Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — since it will undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they have done.

All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the changes on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Your Husband Back During A Divorce

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it is not sufficient on its own to cure your spouse’s harm and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.

Apologies have to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you’re, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This may seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.

And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is fine, but it’s not likely to have the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behavior and reveal your partner how much you value them.

Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Get Your Husband Back During A Divorce

Cheatproof-your-relationship

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How To Get Your Husband Back During A Divorce

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am certain you agree!

By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It’s never easy.

But the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our spouses.

When this happens, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.

It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.

Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your own thoughts and experiences in the end. How To Get Your Husband Back During A Divorce

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Get Your Husband Back During A Divorce

 

1. Forgive yourself

You could be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?

But there are numerous reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.

This isn’t going to be helpful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.

Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.

But you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility

When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology needs to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.

So you need the time before you apologize to your partner, take this time to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.

As hard as it can, look into your partner’s eyes once you go to confer with them.

For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them farther away.

So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Your Husband Back During A Divorce

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.

For example:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.

I am happy to give you access to all of my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m happy to give you access to every one of my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really want to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” How To Get Your Husband Back During A Divorce

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common assumption that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.

And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.

Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.

Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your first instinct — since it will undo the good you have accomplished by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they have done.

All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves the adjustments on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Your Husband Back During A Divorce

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do most of the relationship repairing.

Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.

If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.

This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.

And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is fine, but it’s not going to get the identical impact as constant small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your spouse how much you value them.

Even if your spouse doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Get Your Husband Back During A Divorce

Cheatproof-your-relationship

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