How To Get Your Husband Back Before Divorce
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I am sure you agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It’s never simple.
However, the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to share your own thoughts and experiences at the end. How To Get Your Husband Back Before Divorce
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Get Your Husband Back Before Divorce
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll have the ability to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you will need the time to calm down until you apologize to your partner, take this moment. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is only going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… Do not attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Your Husband Back Before Divorce
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I am pleased to give you access to all of my accounts and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to offer you access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule out of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Get Your Husband Back Before Divorce
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a partner often makes is that when they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — as it will only reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves that the adjustments on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Your Husband Back Before Divorce
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which really do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some manner, the biggest key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is fine, but it’s not going to get the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and show your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your spouse does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Get Your Husband Back Before Divorce