How To Get Your Ex Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I’m sure you agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your own thoughts and experiences in the end. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.
So you will need time until you apologize to your partner, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I am happy to give you open access to all my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am happy to offer you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” How To Get Your Ex Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — as it is only going to undo the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the changes in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which really do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some manner, the secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And remember, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is fine, but it’s not going to get exactly the same effect as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you value them.
Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back