How To Get Your Ex Husband Back

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I’m sure you agree!

By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It is never simple.

But the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.

When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.

It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.

Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your own thoughts and experiences in the end. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?

But there are numerous reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use up all of your emotional energy.

This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.

Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.

But you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility

In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.

So you will need time until you apologize to your partner, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it is, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.

For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For instance: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on sometimes”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them farther away.

So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.

For example:

“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.

I am happy to give you open access to all my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am happy to offer you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly want to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” How To Get Your Ex Husband Back

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common premise that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.

And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.

Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.

It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — as it is only going to undo the good you have just done by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they’ve done.

All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the changes in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which really do the majority of the relationship fixing.

Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you have betrayed your spouse in some manner, the secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This might appear over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.

And remember, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is fine, but it’s not going to get exactly the same effect as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you value them.

Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back

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How To Get Your Ex Husband Back

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am certain you all agree!

By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It’s never easy.

But the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.

When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.

It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the end. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back

 

1. Forgive yourself

You could be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?

However there are several reasons why it is imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.

To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful is going to use all of your emotional energy up.

This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.

But you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility

In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.

So you need the time until you apologize to your partner, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it is, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.

For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them farther away.

So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.

For instance:

“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.

I’m happy to give you open access to all of my account and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to offer you open access to all my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule out of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Get Your Ex Husband Back

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A frequent premise that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.

And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.

So don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.

It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — as it will reverse the good you have done by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they have done.

All you can do right now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes in your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do most of the relationship fixing.

Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you have betrayed your spouse in some way, the key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you’re doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.

This might seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.

And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is fine, but it is not likely to have the same impact as constant small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.

Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back

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