How To Get Your Ex Husband Back When He Has Moved On
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m certain you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among the people you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your own thoughts and experiences at the conclusion. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back When He Has Moved On
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back When He Has Moved On
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it’s imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you could do in order to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need the time to calm down before you apologize to your partner, take this time. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look at your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back When He Has Moved On
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I’m happy to give you access to all my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule out of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” How To Get Your Ex Husband Back When He Has Moved On
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — as it will only undo the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the adjustments in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back When He Has Moved On
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to be backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be regained, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is fine, but it’s not likely to get exactly the same impact as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you value them.
Even if your partner does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back When He Has Moved On