How To Get Your Ex Husband Back After You Cheated
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m sure you all agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people that you love the most. It is never easy.
But the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your thoughts in the end. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back After You Cheated
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back After You Cheated
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be helpful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you need the time until you confer with your spouse, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back After You Cheated
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I’m happy to give you access to all my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to offer you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” How To Get Your Ex Husband Back After You Cheated
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a spouse frequently makes is that when they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — since it will only undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes in your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back After You Cheated
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you’re, what you are doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be recovered, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is fine, but it is not likely to have exactly the identical effect as constant small actions to improve your behaviour and show your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back After You Cheated