How To Get Your Ex Husband Back After He Has Remarried
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I am certain you all agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people that you love the most. It is never simple.
However, the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your own thoughts and experiences in the end. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back After He Has Remarried
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back After He Has Remarried
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you will need the time before you confer with your spouse, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s going on occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is just going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back After He Has Remarried
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I’m pleased to give you open access to all of my accounts and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you open access to all my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” How To Get Your Ex Husband Back After He Has Remarried
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner frequently makes is that when they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being angry or sad and give them forgiveness.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
So don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — as it will only undo the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves the changes on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back After He Has Remarried
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s harm and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your partner in some way, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be recovered, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not going to have exactly the identical impact as constant small steps to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back After He Has Remarried