How To Get Your Ex Husband Back After 5 Years
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am sure you agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of those people that you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your own thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back After 5 Years
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back After 5 Years
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll have the ability to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need the time to calm down before you confer with your partner, take this time. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you are BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back After 5 Years
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I am pleased to give you access to all my account and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to offer you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Get Your Ex Husband Back After 5 Years
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a spouse frequently makes is that when they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — as it is only going to reverse the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it can be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the changes in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back After 5 Years
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you’re doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is nice, but it’s not going to have exactly the same effect as constant small actions to improve your behavior and reveal your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Get Your Ex Husband Back After 5 Years